


don't want no other shade of blue but you

by shybear_styles



Series: i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me [4]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Did I Mention, M/M, Pining, and i cannot stress this enough, and then 2k of them being in love, but they're also pretty good friends who are tired of all the pining, pierre and daniel are terrible friends, there’s a lot of it here i’m not even kidding, these boys are, this is like 10k of boys being stupid and pining, very dumb and soft for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27559951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shybear_styles/pseuds/shybear_styles
Summary: The Sauber driver wishes he could claim to be surprised, but he knew from the moment that he confessed to liking the Dutchman that this would happen. Part of him is glad that this moment came before they actually went out together and he experienced, even if only for a couple of hours, what it’d be like to be with Max, while the other part is desperately telling him that even a couple of hours followed by rejection would be better than never knowing what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of the other boy’s attention in a romantic setting.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen
Series: i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982944
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	don't want no other shade of blue but you

**Author's Note:**

> The file for this part was titled “what am I doing????” for like 5 days so, yeah. I have no idea. It picks up a couple of weeks after the third part (Austria 2018). The main not-canon thing is the date for the Ferrari announcement, because I needed it to fit into my timeline here (and, you know, lack of girlfriends).
> 
> I know they probably seem a little ooc, but to be honest? I don’t care, this is fiction and if I have to write my own version of events to have these two being dumb and in love and sort of being honest about their feelings, guess what? That’s exactly what I’ll do.
> 
> Once again (I should probably just put this in the series summary), this is for [Kamila](https://twitter.com/lan_wangjis). Thank you for helping me write this absolute monster, it would never ever see the light of day if I didn’t have you to help me. You’re the best ever.
> 
> Comments are much appreciated, folks!

Max wakes up at home in Monaco two days before he’s due in Germany for the race, sees that Charles posted a story about going running with Pierre in Milan and says “fuck it, I’m done with this.”

He actually says the words out loud, in his empty room in his empty apartment and feels like the stupidest person in the world. 

He’s been trying to give Charles the benefit of the doubt and be understanding that people have plans sometimes, and in their lives, it’s not always up to them to decide where they’re going to be during the next few days. But he knows that whatever sponsor duty the other boy had in Italy is over, because he got a selfie of him looking tired but still stunningly beautiful on Friday after the meeting was over.

But he said he was going to stay in Milan with Pierre until they had to fly to Germany and Max gets it; they’re best friends, they like to spend time together when they’re not racing and he’s pretty sure that his jealousy of the Frenchman is unfounded. Not to mention the fact that he has no right to be jealous of Charles with anyone, because they’re not together.

But Max really wants them to be. He thought they would be, after they confessed to liking each other in Austria two weeks ago and Charles looked so eager to go out with him.

And then Max got a text from him on Monday morning saying that he got confused and actually had to leave later that day to go to the Sauber factory. The Dutchman wasn’t bothered, mixing up the dates for factory meetings and sponsor duties is a given for any F1 driver. They kept texting each other throughout the week and he suggested that they could have dinner together in Silverstone. And that’s when things started to get weird.

Charles said that going out on a date would distract both of them from the race, so they should try and stay focused on it and maybe go out on Monday. Max tried not to read too much into it and see things from Charles’ perspective: he’s fighting for a Ferrari seat next year and every moment he spends on track is being watched and analyzed. It makes sense to try and avoid distractions. They still spoke to each other during the weekend and everything seemed normal.

The race was a complete disaster for both of them. They were forced to retire the cars and Max was stuck for hours in a meeting with the team to try and understand what happened and how they can prevent it from happening again in the future. They can’t, because the shitty engine keeps fucking them up and getting to finish the race and get decent points has become a matter of luck. Not even Daniel’s P5 helped ease the mood, since now whenever he’s in the same room as Christian, Marko or the engineers it’s like they’re barely holding back from punching each other.

Max left the meeting with a headache, hungry and in desperate need to talk to someone, preferably Charles. It didn’t even have to be a date, he just wanted to sit and talk to a person who might understand a little about how bad things were. 

He’s surprised to find a text from Charles on his phone saying that he didn’t feel like sticking around after the awful race and had already gotten on a plane home to Monaco. Max stood frozen in place for a few seconds, still by the door to the briefing room he’d exited, trying to understand what happened.

He thought that they’d be going on a date on Monday. He was pretty sure that Charles was the one who said “we can go out on Monday”.

An ugly thought started at the back of his mind and he tried very hard to ignore it, but it didn’t work. It looked like the Monégasque was regretting the things he said back in Austria and was now actually running from Max.

He sent a text saying that he was hoping for a date on the following day, but that he understood his need to leave. The Dutchman now had to go to Milton Keynes to try and figure out with the engineers how to improve the car and he’d be stuck there for at least a week and maybe they could go out in Monaco when he got back?

He tried and failed not to put too much faith in the positive answer he got back, and ended up being rejected again on Friday when he sent another text after getting on the plane back to Monaco and Charles replied saying that he had left for Italy to fulfill some team duties and would be spending the following week there.

The Red Bull driver didn’t even bother trying to ask him out again. He simply wished him a safe trip, locked his phone and pulled the hood of his jacket across his face.

Which brings him to here, a week later and having confirmation that Charles would rather spend time with Pierre, who he sees _all the fucking time_ than go out with Max and, well… Message received. He is now angry, hurt and ashamed for being open about his feelings with the other boy and getting so thoroughly rejected. 

Not only that, but Charles has been the person he talks to when things get too crazy at Red Bull for a couple of months now and he hasn't been able to really have a conversation with him since Austria. The relationship between Daniel and the team is worse than ever and Max is pretty sure that his best friend is leaving the team for good by the end of the season and, as hard as he tries, he can't help but think that it is somewhat his fault.

He thinks about confronting Charles about the situation, but can’t stand the thought of hearing from the Sauber driver that he made a mistake and doesn’t really like Max like that.

The only logical option, he concludes, is to completely ignore Charles’ existence from now on, or at least until his bruised ego recovers from the situation, which won’t happen anytime soon.

\----

Charles is nervous.

He’s standing in front of Max’s motorhome after the race, heart in his throat, and trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.

He knows he screwed up with the other boy, he’s heard enough about it from Pierre and even Daniel a couple of times, but the pure panic he felt once the giddiness from that night in Austria settled was something that he couldn’t escape from. He was sure that Max was going to regret the things he said and Charles would end up driving the other boy away from him and then he would lose his friendship and he couldn’t afford to do that. Max is important to him, not only because he’s a little bit in love with the other driver, but because he’s a great friend, someone who believes in him, makes him happy and was there for him in one of the worst moments of Charles’ life.

Now the consequences of his actions have caught up with him and Max has started to completely ignore the Sauber driver. He knows that this is what he deserves after the last couple of weeks, but seeing the other boy turn away from him when they ran into each other in the paddock or leaving his texts unanswered makes his heart feel like it’s breaking in his chest.

Charles talked to Pierre earlier and told his friend that he was going to ask Max out to dinner after the race and explain why he acted the way he did and received full encouragement. Now that the only thing in his way is the motorhome door, though, he doesn’t feel so ready to face the other boy.

He looks around and sees that there are some people giving him very suspicious looks. It probably makes no sense for a Sauber driver who finished 15th to be standing in front of the motorhome of the Red Bull driver who finished 4th.

He takes a deep breath, deciding to just face whatever awaits him, and knocks on the door.

It opens after what feels like ages but were probably only a couple of seconds. Max looks right at him and his face goes completely blank. That’s not a good sign.

“Hey, Max.” Charles greets him with a tentative smile. “Can I come in?”

The Red Bull driver doesn’t say anything, but walks inside and leaves the door open.

Charles has had his fair share of awkward moments in life, but this feels almost painful. There’s a tension between them that hasn’t been there since they started talking more often in the last year and he doesn’t know how to diffuse it. He goes for the obvious.

“Congratulations on your race today. You did good.”

“It was a shit show. I just got lucky and managed to hold onto the position.” His voice is hard and Charles doesn’t know what to say.

“Still, you did a good job at that. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to get dinner later tonight? I found a restaurant that is supposed to be really nice and it’s not too close to the main part of town, so we probably wouldn’t get recognized there.” The Monégasque asks, a hopeful smile on his face even though he can already tell how this conversation is going to end.

“No, Charles, I don't want to have dinner with you. I have better things to do and, honestly? I think we should stop wasting our time.” Max’s voice is flat and he’s barely looking at Charles’ face, gaze fixed on the wall behind him and Charles just… Deflates. “You should invite Pierre, I’m sure he’d love to go with you.”

Charles has no idea where that came from and why his tone is suddenly so bitter. He wants to ask what is wrong, what _he_ did wrong, but the answer to that is quite clear, isn’t it? Max finally came to his senses about giving both of them a try at something more than friendship and decided that it’s not worth it.

The Sauber driver wishes he could claim to be surprised, but he knew from the moment that he confessed to liking the Dutchman that this would happen. Part of him is glad that this moment came before they actually went out together and he experienced, even if only for a couple of hours, what it’d be like to be with Max, while the other part is desperately telling him that even a couple of hours followed by rejection would be better than never knowing what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of the other boy’s attention in a romantic setting.

Charles realizes that he’s been silent for too long and focuses back on Max, who is finally looking at him, still with the same blank expression.

“It’s fine, I understand.” He finally replies, trying to force a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. “I’ll leave you alone now, sorry to bother you.”

He turns around, opening the door to the motorhome and hightailing out of there as fast as possible without actually breaking into a run. He thinks about looking for Pierre, remembers the way Max said his best friend’s name earlier and decides to just go back to the hotel.

Charles spends the rest of the day hiding in his room, ignoring his phone and trying to forget the way Max looked at him when he showed up at his motorhome. The knowledge that he probably managed to ruin their friendship haunts him and he has to work very hard to ignore the sting in his eyes.

At some point his phone starts ringing, but he can’t be bothered to actually check it. It’s probably Pierre wanting to know about what was supposed to be his first date with Max and Charles is nowhere near ready to tell him about that disaster. He’d be worried about his friend showing up at his door to complain about being ignored, but they’re in different hotels this weekend and the Sauber driver is very glad for that.

He orders some room service when his stomach starts actually hurting with hunger, eats the food without really tasting anything and lies back in bed to try and get some sleep. It doesn’t come easily and he finds himself tossing and turning in bed for hours until the exhaustion of the weekend finally drags him into a restless sleep.

The driver wakes up feeling like he never even slept, body heavy with tiredness and lingering sadness from the previous day. Checking his phone, he sees a bunch of missed calls and texts from Pierre, a couple of texts from Daniel and a few other people he doesn’t feel like talking to right now and is surprised to realize that he’s feeling disappointed by not having any from Max. He gives a humorless laugh at his own foolishness before dragging his body out of bed for a shower.

Feeling slightly better, Charles decides to go down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast, leaving his almost dying phone in the room to charge. After another meal that doesn’t really taste like anything, he decides to walk around the city to try and shake off the lingering sadness. He has no team or sponsor obligations today and a walk would probably do him some good. Checking to make sure that he has his wallet on him, the Monégasque leaves the hotel.

He gets back a couple of hours after lunch time, feeling at least a little bit better about everything. Thinking back on the past couple of weeks, he realizes that he probably didn’t do enough to show Max that he was interested in going out with him and ended up doing the exact thing that he was so afraid of, which was to mess things up between them. He’s under no illusions that this realization will mean anything to the Red Bull driver; he knows he ruined any chances of them getting together now, but hopes that they’ll at least manage to save their friendship after a while.

Charles has spent years being sort of in love with Max and he managed just fine. If it means having the other boy in his life, he’ll take whatever he can get.

He has barely stepped inside the hotel lobby when he gets body slammed by someone.

“Where the fuck were you, you idiot?” He recognizes Pierre’s voice and tries to look at him, but his friend has him in a tight grip, face buried in his shoulder. He returns the hug in confusion and pats him in the back awkwardly.

“I went for a walk.”

“And you couldn’t take your fucking phone with you? Or answer any of my calls and texts before leaving?” Pierre steps back from him and his face is a strange mix of concern, anger and relief. “I almost got security to break into your room before one of the concierges said that he’d seen you leave the hotel. I thought that you were lying dead in that room, you asshole.”

“Sorry.” Charles replies meekly. “I didn’t mean to worry you, I just didn’t want to talk to anyone before and I left my phone charging.” He notices some people in the lobby staring at them. “Can we go up to my room? I don’t want to talk here.”

“Okay.”

They ride the elevator in silence and Charles prepares himself for what he knows is going to be a heavy ‘I told you so’ speech.

“Alright, I already know that you didn’t go out with Max last night as you were hoping to and that something happened between you two, because he was very obviously pissed when I ran into him. So tell me what happened to make you ignore your phone, and me, for almost an entire day.” Pierre finishes and sits down at the foot of the bed, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“What do you mean, he was pissed? What did he say?”

“Well, I went to the hotel restaurant to get dinner last night and saw him eating with Daniel and some people from Red Bull. Since you hadn’t replied to my text asking how your conversation went, I assumed that everything was okay and you two were out together, so I was very confused to see him. I went up to them, said that I thought he’d be with you and he got pissed at me.”

“Okay, but what did he say?” Charles asked nervously and started pacing in front of the bed.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you told me that you were going to ask him out to dinner, disappeared for hours and Max is mad.” His friend replied calmly. “Charles… You said that you were going to talk to him about always backing out of your dates, I thought you two would be on the same page by now.”

“Yes, well… I was going to talk to him about it during dinner, but…” He sighs and goes to sit next to Pierre, his shoulders sagging. “He didn’t even look at me when I showed up at his motorhome, Pear. He just gave me this blank look and I knew that he was upset, because he’s been ignoring me for days, but I thought we could try and fix it, you know? That _I_ could try and fix it, but he barely replied to me and when I asked him to dinner he said that he had better things to do and said something about how we should stop wasting our time and I should just invite you, which made no sense, and I knew that he had finally realized that he didn’t really want to go out with me after all, so I left. And I know that this was probably my fault for being a coward and running from him, but I was scared and now I ruined everything and he’ll probably never want to look at me again, much less be my friend.”

Charles is breathless by the time he finishes ranting and his eyes are stinging again, but he won’t let himself cry. It’s his fault that things went so wrong and he’s just gonna have to live with that and hope that their relationship can be fixed someday.

“It’s going to be okay, _mon cher_.” His best friend says kindly and puts an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. “You know how Max is, he probably said some things he didn’t mean because he was upset. And I told you,” Ah, there it is. “didn’t I, that you had to stop running from him and just be honest about your feelings. Give him a few days to cool down and then talk to him again. But don’t do it in the paddock after a race, okay? Maybe look for him in his room in the hotel, or Daniel and I can help you set something up someplace private so you two can talk.”

“You’re a really good friend.” Charles is tearing up again, but for a different reason this time. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Someone has to be the voice of reason to keep you and your dumb face out of trouble, right?” The Frenchman laughs and knocks their heads together. “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out and soon the two of you will be going on dates and being disgustingly in love.”

 _God_ , Charles really hopes that Pierre is right.

\----

Pierre wasn’t right.

It’s been a week and Charles is now convinced that Max doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. 

He thought that maybe Max would be more comfortable hanging out with him if other people were present, so he texted the Dutchman on Thursday with an invite to play some FIFA with Daniel, Pierre and Carlos after they were done with media day for Hungary, and although he knew that Max read his text, he never replied. Daniel said he’d try to drag him along, but showed up alone in Carlos’ room with a pitiful expression that made Charles want to leave and hide in his room for the rest of the weekend.

The Monégasque tried again on Saturday, a few hours after qualifying. This time, his invite to dinner with Daniel, Pierre, Carlos, Brendon and Marcus was answered with a short “can you leave me alone?” that made his heart feel it was cracking in his chest, but at least he got the message. He won’t bother Max anymore.

And to top it all off, he didn’t even manage to finish the first lap of the race before having to retire the car due to the suspension breaking. Now he is pissed, tired, heartbroken and being forced to go to a party to celebrate the end of the first half of the season, where he’ll have to see Max, who is probably in a similar mood after his DNF. Great.

At the club, Charles spends a lot of time watching Max, who splits his time between talking to the other drivers, always as far from Charles as possible, and going out on the dance floor with Daniel and Nico. He looks like he’s having fun and the Sauber driver is torn between admiring the smile on his face and feeling disappointed that their falling out isn’t weighing on the other boy as much as it is on him.

He makes an effort to talk to people and not let them know how miserable he is. Sebastian shows up at the beginning of the party and doesn’t stay long, but he spends some time talking to Charles, who is still a little starstruck by the older man. There’s a good chance that they’ll be teammates next year and Charles _wants_ , with every fiber of his being, for it to happen.

He talks to some of the other drivers, spends some time with Daniel when Max is off talking to Nico and Carlos, but stays glued to Pierre’s side for the rest of the night. At some point Lance and Esteban are talking to them, but Charles’ gaze is fixed on Max who is laughing at something Nico said a few steps away from them. The lights are low and Charles’ eyes are straining to track the long line of the Dutchman’s neck as he throws his head back, his laughter audibly even with the loud music.

Pierre’s sharp reply to something breaks him out of his trance and he looks around, noticing Lance looking wearily between his best friend and Esteban. Charles doesn’t know what happened, but he’s spent enough time around those two to know when they’re about to start arguing, so he throws his arms around Pierre’s shoulder and smiles placatingly at Lance and Esteban.

“C’mon, Pierre, I want to dance. We’ll see you guys later.” He doesn’t stick around for a response and drags his friend away from the other drivers.

“I wasn’t going to fight with him.” Pierre leans in to be heard over the music after they find a place at the dance floor.

“Yes, you were, and I don’t want to break up any fights tonight.”

“As if your scrawny ass could break up a fight.” His best friend laughs into his ear and Charles shoves him lightly by the shoulder.

“Shut up, I’m not scrawny. I’m an athlete.” He says back grumply and Pierre laughs even louder.

“You’re like a teenager, look at you.” He replies and holds Charles’ waist with both hands. “You’re tiny.”

“Like you’re a big, muscular man? You look just like me, you idiot.” He says and quickly squeezes his friend’s left side where he’s ticklish. Pierre squeaks and tries to move away, but Charles grabs him by the elbow while laughing.

They stay on the dance floor for a while, making fun of each other like little kids, and Charles manages to forget about the entire mess with Max.

That is, until they decide to go to the bar and get a drink and see Max standing there with a woman dangerously close to him, a hand around his bicep and a flirtatious smile on her face. 

Charles stops in his tracks and grabs Pierre by the shirt to keep him from stepping forward. He can only see the side of Max’s face from where he’s standing, but he seems to be smiling at the woman and the Monégasque feels like the ground just gave out under him. He lets go of his friend and starts walking towards the exit.

“Charles, wait.” The Frenchman catches up to him after a few steps. “I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried. He made it clear that he doesn’t like me, so he can do whatever he wants.” He says back. “I’m going back to the hotel.”

“Okay, I’m coming with you.” Pierre says decidedly and Charles turns to look at him.

“Don’t do that. Stay here and celebrate, you deserve it.” When his friend opens his mouth to argue, he continues. “I really want to be alone right now, Pear. Please.”

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Pierre gives a reluctant nod. 

“Alright, but call me if you decide you want company, okay?” He steps forward to give Charles a hug. “Have a safe flight home tomorrow. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

After returning the hug and saying goodbye, Charles leaves and heads back to the hotel. It’s only a few minutes away from where they were, so he decides to walk.

His heart aches from the scene he just witnessed, but he knows he has no right to be upset. He had his chance with Max and ruined it by being a coward, so now he has to deal with the consequences of his actions and accept that Max is going to move on with his life and Charles most likely won’t be a part of it.

He goes back home to Monaco on Monday morning and spends the first two days of summer break locked up in his apartment sleeping, eating and feeling sorry for himself. The only reason he doesn’t continue to do so on the third day is because his mom calls him and demands he pay them a visit.

So he takes a shower, gets dressed and goes over to his mother’s house. She seems to know right away that something is wrong with him, but he insists that he’s fine and walks off to talk to Arthur, knowing that she’ll corner him later and make him talk.

Not even two hours later, that’s exactly what she does. And he has no choice but to tell her everything, from his conversation with Max back at Austria to the moment when he saw the other boy with a girl at the club and how he feels like he’s ruined their friendship with his fear of taking a chance at a relationship.

He’s holding back tears by the time he finishes retelling the story and his mom doesn’t mention it, but hugs him tight and tells him, very kindly, that he’s being dramatic. Things might be strained with Max now, but it doesn’t mean that he’s ruined their friendship or that they don’t still have a chance of making it work.

He adamantly tells her that she’s wrong and Max has made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“Darling, if he didn’t want anything to do with you, he wouldn’t have admitted to liking you or tried for weeks to take you on a date. He is probably hurt because you were never available, and thinking that you’re the one who doesn’t want to go out with him anymore.”

“But I tried to ask him out and he told me that he had better things to do and we should stop wasting our time!”

“Yes, you did. _After_ he started giving you the cold shoulder. How would _you_ feel if you tried going out with him for weeks and, when you finally gave up, he started paying attention to you again?”

“I’d be angry… And hurt.” He reluctantly answers and she gives him a knowing smile.

“And don’t you think that you’d probably lash out at him? Especially if you felt like he was toying with your feelings?” He opens his mouth to complain about her choice of words, but she is quick to keep talking. “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean for it to look like that, Charles, because that is how you made it look. I don’t know much about Max, but from what you’ve told me, it seems reasonable to assume that he was trying to protect himself from being hurt by you any further.”

“I guess…” Charles knows he sounds like a child right now, but he doesn’t really care. “But none of that matters now, because he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

“Give him time, my love. I know that you’re both young and everything feels like the end of the world, but I promise you that it isn’t. Enjoy your summer, go out with your friends and when you see each other again, you can try to talk to him again… Okay?” She waits for him to nod and continues. “Now let’s go, I’m surprised your brother hasn’t stormed in here and demanded to know what we’re talking about without him.”

“He’s probably hiding behind the wall and listening to everything.”

“I would never do such a thing.” Arthur’s face pops out from behind said wall. “I was just walking in here to ask what’s taking you guys so long and I happened to hear what you were saying... Can I tell Enzo that you finally told Max Verstappen that you’re in love with him and ruined it less than a week later?”

“That’s the beginning of the story!” Charles exclaims, affronted. “And no, you can’t tell him anything.”

“Sorry, bro.” He raises a hand to show his phone. “Already told him everything.”

Charles takes a step towards him and his little brother takes off running, so the only logical option is to chase him around the apartment.

“Please don’t break anything, boys.” His mom’s exasperated voice rings out, but they ignore it.

Two days after his conversation with his mom, chasing his little brother around until they fell down and nearly broke a chair and a truly awful phone talk with Lorenzo where he tried to be understanding but only made Charles feel worse, the Monégasque is watching TV and making plans to go out with some friends later when a notification from the F1 twitter account pops up on his phone.

“BREAKING: Daniel Ricciardo signs with Renault for 2019 season”

He immediately thinks about Max. He obviously knows that Daniel’s year with Red Bull hasn’t been going well and the Australian has told him that he was considering leaving, but he didn’t think it would actually happen. Before he knows it, Max’s text chain is open on his phone and he starts debating with himself if he should reach out. He doesn’t want another angry reply telling him to fuck off and leave him alone or no reply at all, but he can’t not say anything. He knows that the Red Bull drivers’ friendship has been affected by how the team is treating Daniel, but he also knows how important he is to Max.

He settles for a simple “I’m sorry about Daniel leaving. Are you okay?” and clicks send before he can second-guess himself.

It’s hours later when he’s arriving at the place where he’s meeting his friends that his phone lights up with Max’s reply of “I’m fine. I already knew about it” and well… Of course he already knew about it, Daniel wouldn’t leave without telling him first. It’s not another “fuck off and leave me alone” reply, but he also didn’t leave any room for further texts, so Charles takes the sort of win, shoves his phone in his pocket and steps into the bar.

\----

Max really wishes he could say he enjoyed the summer break, but that is very far from the truth.

He didn’t even get a week of peace before the news about Daniel moving to Renault broke and he was bombarded with calls, texts and journalists asking for interviews and comments on the move. He seriously considered doing like Daniel, who went home to Australia to escape from everyone, and hiding at his mother’s place in Belgium until he had to show his face to the world again in Spa, but didn’t want to burden his family with his truly terrible mood.

He turned off his phone on the same day as the announcement was made, but not before seeing a text from Charles asking if he was okay. He wanted, more than anything, to call the younger driver and say “no, I’m not okay. I miss talking to you and hearing your voice and having someone other than Daniel listen to me when I feel like I’m going crazy, which I’m pretty sure I am” but only replied with a curt message that made him feel like even more of a dick.

Obviously, Charles didn’t text back.

Part of him knows that he shouldn’t have said the things he did to the other boy, and that even if Charles didn’t want to be romantically involved with him, they were friends before and could probably try to save that friendship. But Max is proud, and stubborn and he was so incredibly hurt by the way the Monégasque handled things between them that he wanted to make him feel as sad and disappointed as the Red Bull driver felt.

The thing was: his plan backfired and he only managed to make himself even more miserable by ignoring the other boy and being rude to him whenever he tried to start a conversation. Even worse, he’s pretty sure that his actions made Charles become even closer to Pierre, if the scene he witnessed at the party before the break was any indication.

His blood boils again when he remembers the two of them that night, how Charles spent almost the entire time stuck to Pierre like a shadow, laughing and having fun with him while Max tried to pretend to not care about anything and failed miserably.

When he saw the two friends dancing together, Pierre touching Charles so freely, he was torn between storming over and shoving the Frenchman away from the other boy and turning around and leaving altogether. His decision was made by Daniel, who dragged him over to the bar, shoved a drink in his hand and told the bartender to keep them coming until Max stopped looking so murderous.

At some point Hulk showed up with a girl who was very eager to meet Max and accompany him back to his hotel room and, if he’s honest with himself, he was tempted. He was frustrated, hurt and having someone wanting him would probably feel good for a couple of hours until he started feeling like shit again, but in the end he said “thanks but no thanks” and kept drowning his feelings in alcohol until Daniel cut him off and forced him to go back to the hotel.

He looked around for Charles when he went back to the VIP area to get his jacket and saw Pierre talking to Carlos and Lance, but no sign of the Monégasque and he was way too drunk to try and find him out on the dancefloor.

The Red Bull driver went back to the hotel, collapsed on his bed and woke up with a hangover to rival the ones from when he first started drinking. He was lucky that his father hadn’t gone to the race and wasn’t there to drag him to breakfast to discuss his performance the previous day and annoy him until it was time for his flight to Monaco.

His break passed in much the same way; he went out with some friends in Monaco, spent an awful amount of time in the simulator and exercising and dodged as many interviews and phone calls as he could. On his last week before having to fly out for the race, he decided to visit his mother and sister and spend some time with them.

He doesn’t like spending a lot of time out of the house when he’s in Belgium because he gets recognized a lot and, while he enjoys the attention and meeting the fans, he enjoys his privacy a lot more. That gave him a more legitimate excuse to stay hidden and it worked for a couple of days, until his sister barged into his room and demanded to know why he was moping around the house like a teenager with a broken heart.

He considered lying to her, then considered not saying anything and waiting until she went away, which was not likely to happen, and ended up telling her the whole story.

She was very sisterly in her rage over how Charles handled things between them and how he was absolutely right to give him the cold-shoulder, but told him upfront that being a dick to the other boy wouldn’t get him anywhere and how she didn’t think it was fair for him to throw their friendship away just because things didn’t work out.

It sounded easy coming from her, but Max couldn’t stand the thought of putting himself out there again just to be hurt once more. There was no way he was going to risk it.

There wasn’t much she could say to that and they just sat there in silence until their mother showed up at the door. Max doesn’t know if Victoria told her about their conversation, but he caught his mom giving him some very sad looks for the rest of the time that he was staying with them, although she never said anything to imply that she knew what was going on with him.

Now he’s back at the paddock after what was supposed to be a relaxing break and doing his very best to maintain a blank face every time someone asks him how he took Daniel’s move and if he feels like it’s his fault that his teammate chose to leave the team that was his home for over 6 years.

He wants to tell every single one of them to go fuck themselves.

As if that wasn’t enough to make him want to _scream_ and break something, he was barely awake on Friday when a tweet from the official F1 account showed up on his phone.

“BREAKING: Charles Leclerc signs for Ferrari”

The surge of pride that filled his chest was so strong that he was left staring at his phone for a few seconds completely still, until a loud laugh bubbled up out of him. Charles _did it_. He got the Ferrari seat.

Max was smiling stupidly in his empty room and about to call the _now-Ferrari driver, what the fuck_ , when he remembered that they’re not talking to each other. Or, well, Max isn’t talking to Charles; the other boy admittedly tried for a while until the Dutchman succeeded in pushing him away.

His bad mood returned tenfold and he was scowling at his phone again in no time. He didn’t feel like he had the right to reach out to the other boy, not after he acted like a complete asshole whenever Charles attempted a conversation.

He remembered Charles’ text from when Daniel’s announcement came out and how he cut him off before there was even a chance for a conversation to begin.

He is so fucking stupid. 

The Red Bull driver told himself that he could try to talk to the other boy in person at some point during the weekend, but whenever he managed to catch a glimpse of Charles around the paddock he was already surrounded by fans or journalists and Max didn’t think it’d be a good idea to look for him in his hotel.

So now he’s in his driver room trying to focus on the race that’s about to start and not on the millions of things going through his head. He asked his family to leave him alone before the race and knew that his mom and sister could tell that something wasn’t quite right with him, but they would never ask about it in front of his dad, so they left after wishing him good luck.

He knows he’s got this. He’s a professional, more than capable of focusing on his job and turning the troubling feelings into fuel for an incredible race.

\---

A podium in Belgium feels almost as good as the win in Austria did. This is a home race for him and the cheers from the crowd as he crossed the finish line and then stood on the podium were exactly what he needed after some very shitty weeks.

He accepted hugs and congratulations from his family, celebrated a little with the team and left to talk to the press in the media area before the post-race press conference.

He runs into Daniel outside the Red Bull motorhome while he’s waiting for Vicky to call him for the next interview. The older driver doesn’t look thrilled, but it’s undeniable that announcing his move to another team seems to have lifted some of the weight off his shoulders. He accepts a hug for his podium and asks how his friend is doing.

“Shit happens, you know? It’s not how I wanted my first race after the announcement to end, but the team did their best to get me back out there.” Daniel shrugs and looks away when something seems to catch his eye. “Pierre, hey!”

“Hi.” The Frenchman looks wary to be near Max, but steps closer to them. “Sorry about your race, mate. And congrats on your podium, Max.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, it happens. Have you spoken to Charles? How’s he doing?” Max has no idea about why Daniel is bringing up Charles in front of him and looking so worried while doing so. He saw that the Sauber driver retired from the race at some point, and that can’t be a good feeling right after being announced for Ferrari, but that’s not a cause for concern. Right?

“He’s a little shaken but trying to deny it. You know how he is… I only got a couple of minutes to speak to him before he went back to the hotel, but he said he’s still up for going out to celebrate the announcement later, which is good… I don’t want him to be alone today.” Pierre’s eyebrows are furrowed in concern and he keeps giving Max some weird looks.

“What happened to him?” He tries to sound as indifferent as possible, but can’t deny that there’s some worry growing in his chest.

“Mate, didn’t you see Alonso’s crash in the first lap?” Daniel asks him in surprise.

“Yeah, Hulk fucked him over and sent him flying. Did Charles get hit too?”

“Hulk sent him flying over Charles’ car, man.” When the only answer he gets is Max staring at him in shock, Daniel continues. “He was right in front of Alonso when the crash happened and the car just flew right by his head. God knows what would’ve happened if this was last year and we didn’t have the halo.”

“Did you see the state of his halo after the crash? Fuck, no, I don’t even want to think about that.” Pierre’s voice is heavy and he rubs both hands over his face as the Australian reaches out to squeeze his shoulder in comfort.

The younger Red Bull driver is still staring at both of them completely speechless. He saw the replay for the crash after the race, but already knew that Alonso and Hulk were okay and didn’t even notice that Charles was in the middle of the chaos, he just assumed that his retirement was due to something being wrong with his car.

He knows that Daniel and Pierre are still talking, but the only thing he can think of is going back to his driver room and looking up videos of the crash. And then going after Charles to talk to him. 

“Max?” Pierre’s voice brings him back and he realizes he’s been frowning at the other driver for who knows how long. “Are you coming tonight? I know things are still weird between you two, but I’m sure Charles would like to see you.”

“I don’t think he needs anyone else when he has you there, mate.” The younger Red Bull driver can’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“Okay, I don’t know what has gotten into you and I am only going to say this once: you’re out of your fucking mind if you think that there’s something between me and Charles.” Max has never heard Pierre sound so mad before. “I get that Charles screwed up and he has been trying to apologize to you since before the break, but if you are going to keep acting like a dick to him, then you should just keep your distance because he definitely doesn’t need that right now.”

An awkward silence settles between them, with Daniel gaping at Pierre in shock, who in turn is glaring at Max like he’d very much like to hit him. He’s still staring at the Toro Rosso driver completely speechless when Vicky shows up.

“Hello, boys.” From the hesitation in her voice, she picked up on the weird vibe around them. “Sorry to interrupt, but Max is needed at the press conference.” 

He says a stilted bye to them and leaves with Vicky, mind still thinking about Charles’ crash and Pierre’s words.

The next few hours are a blur. He gets through the press conference, spends some time with his parents and his sister and tells them he won’t be able to celebrate with them because he’s going out with some of the other drivers. His father isn’t happy with it, but Max won’t be swayed.

On his way back to the hotel, he texts Daniel to let him know that he’s going with them to the bar and gets a bunch of emojis that make absolutely no sense as a reply, but are probably meant to be encouraging. There’s still a couple of hours before they need to leave, so after he arrives and takes a shower to wash off the smell of champagne, he sits on the bed, opens up Twitter and starts looking for videos of the crash.

It only takes a few seconds to find one, with all the angles available and a slow motion of the moment when Alonso’s car flies over Charles’. Max finds himself holding his breath while watching it and his heart starts beating frantically in his chest when he realizes just how much of a close call that crash was.

He remembers Pierre mentioning the halo in Charles’ car and looks that up on Twitter, finding a picture posted by the F1 account. It seems that most of the impact hit the right side of it, the structure broken from how strong it was and Daniel was right, God only knows what would have happened to Charles if it wasn’t for the halo.

Max finds himself with the irrational urge to go to Charles’ room right now and see for himself that the other boy is okay. He knows is stupid, not to mention the fact that Charles probably wouldn’t want to see him, but he wants, more than anything else, to gather the other boy into his arms and not let go for at least an hour.

He is so smitten, it’s ridiculous.

Before he knows it, it’s time to get ready and he’s faced with a problem: what to wear to celebrate the boy he’s in love with getting a Ferrari seat and surviving a potentially life-threatening crash when said boy probably doesn’t even want to see him? His typical choice of clothes during race week usually consist of a Red Bull shirt, jeans and a cap, but he doesn’t think the shirt would be appreciated.

He settles for a black shirt and has just placed his orange Red Bull cap on his head when there’s a knock on the door. He opens it to find Daniel with a grin on his face that is quickly replaced by a frown.

“Mate, no.” He moves away just in time to keep the older driver’s hands away from his head. “You’re not wearing that thing, get rid of it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” He says defensively and steps backwards when his best friend makes a grab for his cap again. “Stop it, Dan.”

“It’s the middle of the night and you’re trying to win Charles back, you’re not wearing a fucking cap. I won’t let you.” He crosses both arms in front of his chest and stares at the Dutchman until he caves and takes it off. “Great, now let’s go, tonight is very important.”

Max still grumbles a little, but picks up his things and follows his friend out. 

The place where they’re celebrating is within walking distance, so they make their way to the bar in silence. Max’s brain, on the other hand, won’t shut up about how this is a terrible idea and he’s going to make things worse than they already are and, as they get closer to the bar, the Dutchman finds himself slowing down until he stops walking completely, ignoring the weird looks he’s getting from the people near them and from his friend.

“This is a bad idea, I should go back to the hotel.” He tries to turn around but Daniel’s arm comes up to hold him in place.

“Stop that. Pierre and I can’t stand this weird thing between the two of you anymore and we know for sure that Charles won’t be the first one to start a conversation, so that’s up to you. So be a big boy and go tell that dumb, lovesick fool that you’re also a dumb, lovesick fool who is sorry for how things happened and wants to try again.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Max hates the fact that his voice comes out so vulnerable, but he likes to think that Daniel won’t make fun of him for it.

“I very much doubt that, Max. Besides, you heard Pierre… He’s sure that Charles would like to see you and he’s pretty much a Charles-expert. Oh, stop frowning.” The Australian rolls his eyes at him. “As amusing as it is watching you be jealous of the two of them, it is getting ridiculous.”

They stand there staring at each other for a few seconds until Max decides to face the music. He nods at the older driver and starts walking again.

Taking a deep breath, Max steps into the bar with Daniel and immediately spots Charles. He’s wearing a bright yellow hoodie that makes him stand out even more than usual and is talking animatedly with Carlos, sitting in a booth with Pierre, Brendon and Lance, who seem to be having their own conversation. The Monégasque looks around the bar while still talking to Carlos and spots them walking towards the table.

He locks eyes with Max and the most beautiful smile appears on his face, disappearing almost immediately and being replaced by a frown. He looks away and back to Carlos and Max’s heart physically hurts. 

“Oh, shit, that was harsh.” Daniel says beneath his breath as they step closer to the table and Max considers simply turning around and leaving because that can’t be a good sign. Before he can try, though, Daniel pushes him forward. “Hey, guys! Sorry we’re late, Max couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“I’m just surprised he’s not wearing a cap.” Brendon says with a laugh, being joined by Carlos, Lance and Daniel. Charles has a polite smile on his face now, clearly fake, and Pierre is staring at Max like he can see into his soul.

“Guess he’s not completely hopeless, right?” The older driver pretty much shoves Max into the booth and sits down, effectively keeping him from just running off.

Max says hello to everybody and tries to pretend like this isn’t the most uncomfortable experience of his life. Charles is looking and talking to everyone but him and the other drivers are starting to catch up on the fact that something is wrong.

Some very awkward minutes later, Charles stands up to get them more drinks.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Go talk to him.” Daniel nudges him hard enough to bruise once he’s out of earshot.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll go.” Max begins to stand up but is stopped by Pierre reaching out to hold his arm.

“Please don’t fuck this up, Max. If you’re not going to try and make things right, get up and leave right now.” He says seriously.

“I won’t. Or I’ll try very hard not to.” He’s aware that the other drivers don’t have any idea about what’s happening, but Max is past the point of caring. He knows that he needs to talk to Charles before their relationship gets broken beyond repair. That seems to be good enough for Pierre, who lets him go.

He can feel the eyes of the entire table as he walks towards Charles, who is standing in front of the bar. His palms are sweating and he wipes them on his jeans. Here goes nothing.

“Charles.” He sees the way the other boy tenses up in front of him. “Do you have a minute?”

“Why?” He turns around, voice cautious and Max wants to kick himself for making him feel like that. “I’ve kept my distance like you asked me to, and I really don’t need an argument right now.”

“I just want to talk to you, I promise.” The Dutchman knows he sounds like he’s begging, but it feels appropriate after the last few weeks.

He sees Charles looking behind him in the direction of their table and is sure that he’s looking at their friends. Whatever he sees seems to convince him and he looks back at Max, nodding.

They walk outside and stand near the entrance of the bar, making sure to stay away from prying ears. The Monégasque is obviously waiting for Max to speak, but he doesn’t know how to start. Might as well go with the obvious.

“Congratulations on the Ferrari seat. I knew you’d get it.” He can’t help but smile at the other boy who’s still looking at him with distrust. He tries to make a joke to lighten the mood. “How drunk did you get when you found out?”

“I didn’t. The people I wanted to celebrate with the most are either dead or not speaking to me.” His voice is blunt, but full of hurt and Max feels like he’s been slapped in the face. He probably deserved that.

“I’m sorry, Charles.” He says with as much honesty as possible. “I truly am. I was mad at you for pretending to like me and ashamed of myself for being vulnerable and getting my heart broken in the process and when I finally decided to give up on you, you started paying attention to me again and I lashed out because I was hurt. You have every right to get mad at me, because I’ve been an asshole to you since before we went on summer break and I understand if you don’t want me in your life anymore, but I had to apologize, especially after today.”

“What the hell do you mean, pretending to like you? Are you insane?” Charles looks torn between shock and anger, but eventually settles on anger. “I literally told you that I’ve liked you for a long time, and I mean a really long time, and you think I was what, lying to you? Why would I do that?”

“Well, you didn’t seem to like me very much when you kept claiming to be too busy to go out on a date with me but had more than enough time to go out with Pierre in Italy.” Max can’t keep the bitterness out of his voice and doesn’t even care when it cracks halfway through his sentence.

Charles seems to deflate at that and looks away from Max, an embarrassed look on his face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He says softly. “I swear I didn’t, but I truly had to leave earlier when we were in Austria and then, when the excitement of you possibly liking me back faded a little, I just kept thinking that you were going to regret what you said, things would get awkward between us and I would lose your friendship and I couldn’t risk that, Max. But then I lost it anyway because I kept pushing you away and you did regret what you said and I kept trying to talk to you, but you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Max replies and steps closer to the other boy, who still isn’t looking at him. “Charles, look at me. I don’t regret what I said to you, but I was sure that _you_ did, so I thought that the only way to get over it was to ignore you and it killed me to do that. When you showed up at my motorhome asking me to dinner I wanted to say yes and leave with you right then and there, but I was so sure that you’d change your mind again that I had to say what I did to make you leave. I wanted to hurt you like I was hurting, but I hated every second of it and every one that followed, when you kept trying to talk to me.”

The Monégasque’s big and beautiful eyes are on him now and Max wants nothing more than to give him a hug, but he settles for reaching out to hold his hand.

“We’re kind of dumb, aren’t we?” Charles says and squeezes his hand, a shy smile on his face.

“We’re young, we’re allowed to be stupid.” Is what Max replies with and he feels the hope start to grow in his chest. “I’m really sorry for ignoring you and saying the things I said.”

“I’m sorry for being a coward and hurting you. I never meant to do that or to make you feel like I was lying to you.”

They stare at each other for a few seconds with smiles on their faces. They need to talk more, but for now it is enough to lift the heavy weight that’s been on Max’s shoulder for weeks. Well, almost enough… He needs to do one more thing.

“Can I hug you?” He asks the other boy, who nods as soon as he finishes talking.

He lets go of Charles’ hand and steps even closer to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and the other around his shoulder. He squeezes him against his body, resting his chin on his shoulder and closing his eyes, just feeling him safe and warm in his arms. Charles wraps both arms around his waist and squeezes him right back.

“I was so worried when I found out that you were involved in that crash today.” He says into the other driver’s ear and feels him tremble slightly in his arms. “I’d seen the video before, but didn’t know that you were in the middle of it until I spoke to Daniel and Pierre and I all could think about was doing this,” He squeezes Charles even harder to show what he means. “and making sure that you were okay.”

“I’m okay.” He says and Max feels him move a little and rest his forehead against the side of the Red Bull driver’s face. “I didn’t even realize how serious it was at first and thought I could just keep driving, but once the adrenaline faded and I saw the replays I was… I don’t even know what I was feeling. Just kept thinking how ridiculous it is that I got announced for Ferrari and barely 48 hours later was almost crushed by a car. Sounds almost like a bad omen, right?” He laughs humorlessly and Max has to break the hug to look at him.

“Don’t say that. Crashes happen and yes, it’s unlucky that you got caught in the middle of that, but it’s not a fucking bad omen so stop saying that.” He says firmly and Charles gives him a rueful smile.

“But what if it is? What if I was never supposed to get here, especially not so quickly? Other people deserved this seat more than I do.” His eyes are brimming with tears and Max is starting to understand what this is about.

“You don’t have to feel guilty for getting into Ferrari when Jules couldn’t, Charles.” He tells the other boy earnestly and sees his lips start to tremble. He raises one hand to cup the Monégasque’s face. “He would be so proud of you for achieving this and so would your dad. I know that, wherever they are, they are filled with pride and love for you.”

Max quickly wipes the tears that fall down Charles’ face. The other boy looks so incredibly sad that the Dutchman feels his own heart constricting in his chest, but he can’t help but think that he also looks beautiful.

“Besides, why does today have to be a bad omen? Can’t it be a good thing that you came out unscathed of something that could have gone so terribly wrong?”

“I suppose.” He says haltingly and raises his own hand to hold onto Max’s wrist, thumb caressing the thin skin on the inside gently. “I’m sorry for crying.”

“You never have to apologize to me for being sad, Charles. And whenever you need or want to talk, I am here for you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Seeing Charles’ smile blooming on his face, dimples appearing, while being so close to him and feeling it in his hand is a surreal experience and before Max realizes, his thumb is resting on one of those damned dimples. He actually feels Charles’ face getting warmer as the blush settles across his cheeks and he is so fucking endeared by this boy.

“Am I interrupting?”

Both boys jump apart when, out of nowhere, comes _Sebastian Vettel'_ s voice. Max looks behind him to see the four-time championship winner looking at them with poorly-hidden amusement and he feels his cheeks get as red as Charles’ were just a few seconds before.

“Sebastian! I can’t believe you’re here, I told you you didn’t have to come.” Charles sounds and looks extremely flustered and Max would find it funny if he didn’t feel exactly the same.

“Well, I figured that I could celebrate my podium and your new seat at the same time. You kids go back to what you were doing, I’ll wait inside.” The German is doing a terrible job of holding back his smirk and Max can already see the knowing looks he’ll be getting from the older driver from now on.

“No, no, we were just talking. Right, Max?” Before he can reply, the Monégasque keeps talking. “Yes, so we can go inside and talk with everybody.”

A feeling of dread settles in the pit of the Red Bull driver’s stomach as he sees how eager Charles is to pretend like nothing happened and he can’t believe that he let the other boy make a fool out of him once again. He feels like the stupidest person on Earth and is ready to go back to the hotel and forget this humiliating moment.

He still hasn’t said anything and watches passively as Sebastian walks past him and in the direction of the door, Charles starting to follow him until he realizes that Max hasn’t moved. He turns around and looks at him with a confused look on his face.

“Max? What’s wrong?”

“I’m not doing this again, Charles.” He’s surprised by how steady his voice comes out and watches the same feeling appear on the Sauber driver’s face, followed by confusion and then realization.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” He rushes to say and comes back to stand in front of Max. “I swear I didn’t, but I was surprised that Sebastian actually came and I’d forgotten that we’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn’t know how to react, but I’m not going to run from you again. I promise.”

He somehow manages to look honest and heartbroken at the same time and Max wants to believe him, but he can’t. He looked honest when they talked in Austria too, but it didn’t take long for that honesty to be replaced by doubt.

“Max.” Charles raises his hand as if to touch him, hesitates, and then keeps going and places his hand on Max’s neck, much like he did before. His eyes are intense and keep roaming the Red Bull driver’s face like he’s looking for something.

“We’re still standing in the middle of the sidewalk.” Is the only thing that Max can manage to say, starting to feel nervous under all that scrutiny. Strangely enough, that seems to be what Charles was looking for, because the hand on his neck tightens and pulls his face closer to the other boy.

Max thinks he knows what’s about to happen, but still feels his stomach clench when the Monégasque comes close enough for them to be sharing oxygen. Charles’ eyes are flitting between Max’s lips and eyes and he feels a slightly hysterical chuckle building in his throat. _They are still standing in the middle of the fucking sidewalk._

“Can I kiss you?” The slightly shorter boy asks softly and before he can stop himself, Max is blurting out:

“I don’t know, can you?”

He is the stupidest person to have ever lived. He deserves everything that Charles did to him and more, because he just ruined their first kiss in the stupidest way possible.

Poor Charles doesn’t even seem to understand what happened and Max is reminded that the other boy’s English is much worse than his when he actually pulls back looking like a confused puppy and _fuck, no_.

“I don’t know why I said that, please ignore me.” He rushes to say and grabs his waist with both hands to keep him in place. His face is burning and part of him wants to run and hide, but mostly he really wants to be kissed by Charles, who still looks confused by what happened.

“Do you… Not want me to kiss you?”

“No, I do! I really do, I have no idea why I said that, it was supposed to be funny and flirty but I just sounded like an idiot.” And now feel like one, he adds in his mind. “I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“I’m pretty sure I ruined it first.” Charles says in what is probably meant to be a reassuring way, but it doesn’t really work.

“Maybe we could stop ruining it altogether?” Max is quick to reply, and when he feels the other boy’s hand squeezing the side of his neck, realizes that they are still standing awfully close to each other _in the middle of the sidewalk_. 

“That would be nice.”

Charles’ face moves closer again and now Max is the one who can’t decide between looking at his lips or his shining green eyes, so he settles for closing his own once he feels the other driver’s breath hitting his mouth.

Their mouths press together and Max’s head is filled with nothing but white noise. Charles’ lips are soft against his and the Dutchman moves his arms to wrap them around the other boy and pull him even closer. He doesn’t care that they’re in public, probably being stared at by complete strangers who might recognize them and take pictures. All he cares about is how warm the Sauber driver feels in his arms, the taste of his lips and how right this moment feels after years of thinking about it.

They pull apart after who knows how long, but stay close. Charles’ thumb is resting against his cheek, other hand wrapped around his bicep and they’re both blushing and smiling stupidly.

“They are definitely not killing each other.”

Pierre’s voice is dripping with amusement and Charles and Max whip their heads to the side to see the Frenchman, along with Daniel, standing next to them with smirks on their faces. Max is ready for Charles to jump away from him again, so he decides to do it first.

He takes a step backwards and drops his arms from around the other boy, who lowers the hand that was pressed against his face but keeps holding onto his arm. Max looks at him inquisitively, but he’s staring at their friends.

“Why do you two always interrupt us?”

“To be fair, you’ve both been gone a while and we thought we might have to break up an argument. Although Seb’s face when he came in makes a lot more sense now.” Daniel is the one to answer. “And you guys have a habit of having meaningful conversations out in public, so someone has to watch out for the two of you.”

“I’m going to assume that you made up and we won’t have to keep dealing with your whining every single day.”

“You are a terrible friend.” Charles shoots back and Pierre laughs. Daniel is busy giving Max some very suggestive looks and wiggling his eyebrows like a crazy person and the younger driver is staring back pretending to be unbothered as he raises his arm to touch Charles’ lower back.

“Well, we all came here tonight to celebrate with you, but looks like you’re doing enough of that with your boyfriend.” Is what the Toro Rosso driver replies with and Charles seems to choke on air, while Daniel laughs loudly.

“We’d be doing _a lot more_ of that if you left us alone.” Three pairs of eyes turn to the Dutchman and he shrugs.

“I really don’t doubt you, but you’re still in public and Charles somehow managed to convince Sebastian to show up tonight, so maybe you could save the celebration for later?” Daniel seems to have made it his mission to be the voice of reason when it comes to Charles and Max.

“Oh no, Sebastian.” The Monégasque exclaims and places a hand on his forehead. “I completely forgot about him, we have to go inside.” He’s looking a little flustered again and Max starts to think that his earlier reaction probably had more to do with Seb showing up than with what they were doing. After all, it’s no secret that Charles has a bit of a celebrity crush on the German driver. “C’mon, let’s go back.”

Their friends laugh at his reaction, but turn around to head back inside while the Sauber driver uses the hand on Max’s arm to pull him along. He stops just before the door to the bar and looks back, searching his face for something.

“Can we talk more later? Or tomorrow, we’ll probably be here for a while and you’ll want to go back and rest.” He seems nervous and Max is all too aware of how things turned out between them the last time they said ‘let’s talk tomorrow’.

“We can talk whenever you want.” He reassures him. “But now we need to go inside, you can’t leave a four-time world champion waiting.”

Charles gives the _cutest fucking laugh_ that Max has ever heard in his life and he just feels like melting into the ground from how much he adores this boy. 

Before he can do that, though, Charles darts forward and presses a quick kiss to his lips, pulling back with a smile before the Red Bull driver can even react. He’s left staring at his pretty face with his pretty dimples until he turns back around and pulls him inside the bar.

Max can’t do anything but follow.


End file.
